Shakespeare said, “A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet.” Then, I really hope Mr. Assman, or as he was called on the David Letterman show, Assman the Gasman, was named Rose in another life. What if he met Mr.Smellie? Phooey… While these names may not indicate the personal hygiene of their owners, throughout history names have identified us, spoken to our origin, and, in this day and age, are used to define us.
Historically, names all over the world have been based on multiple characteristics, from jobs to family relations. There are names based on your place of origin. For example, Arnold Schwarzenegger is from the town of Schwarzenegg in Austria. Then there are names based on familial relations, such as the Saudi prince Mohammed Bin Salman, son of King Salman. There are also names based on personal characteristics like the Spanish Cortez, which means courteous, Rubio, which means blonde, and Delgado, which means thin. Of course, Marco Rubio probably isn’t the best example of a blonde person out there 🙂 Finally, there are names based on your occupation, such as the names Baker, Smith, and Taylor. And hoo boy, do some people take their occupation too far. Indian Parsis have names such as Paniwalla (water seller), Sodawaterwalla, who sells seltzer water, Sodawaterbottlewalla, who sells bottles to Sodawaterwalla, and Sodabottleopenerwalla, who seems to have diversified into the restaurant business.
What would you be the most popular last name? Smith? Jones? Trump? Rumplestiltskin? According to World Geography, the most common last name is Lee. This is because “It is a widespread surname in China, with about 7.9 percent of the Chinese population possessing this family name” …….and oh boy…is that a lot of people!!!!! “It is the second most common Korean surname, after Kim and Vietnam has a lot of Lee’s too. Taken collectively, these surnames make Lee the most common surname in the world.” (Source: 10 of the Most Common Surnames in the World)
Lee is one of the few last names that translate well across cultures. You have the actor Sir Christopher Lee, civil war general Robert E. Lee, director Spike Lee, Marvel’s Stan Lee, and of course, the world-famous Bruce Lee. Some last names are not so fortunate. For example, the politician Oliver Loser from Germany may not be very popular in the United States. Neither would the Danish name Fokker, which sounds like the infamous “F” word nor the Indian name Bhushit, which means well decorated. Even when correctly pronounced, Bhushit can lead to some awkward conversation. Iceland, in order to preserve the integrity of their naming (and probably to avoid embarrassments like these) instituted a council that reviews all baby names. For instance, they once “…replie[d] in May 2016 to [a] couple who wrote in with Cleopatra. The name is rejected because the letter C has no place in the Icelandic alphabet.” (Tammet) If your name is not accepted, lo and behold…..you get your passport with the name GIRL or BOY. Very descriptive, very original!!!!!!!!
Have you ever heard of Norma Jean? Or Cassius Clay? These were the original names of such celebrities as Marilyn Monroe and Muhammad Ali. There are many people who do not like their given names, and so change them to something they think better suits them, whether for religious reasons or may be just for the heck of it!!! Just look at David Fearn, who changed his name to James Dr No From Russia with Love Goldfinger Thunderball You Only Live Twice On Her Majesty’s Secret Service Diamonds Are Forever Live and Let Die The Man with the Golden Gun The Spy Who Loved Me Moonraker For Your Eyes Only Octopussy A View to a Kill The Living Daylights Licence to Kill Golden Eye Tomorrow Never Dies The World Is Not Enough Die Another Day Casino Royale Bond. (The scotsman) Gee….I wonder if he likes James Bond. Imagine a president of the United States named Barry Dunham. That was a real possibility, as Barry was this president’s nickname, and after his mother divorced his father, he could very well have taken his mother’s maiden name. Of course, we all know him as Barack Obama, who has been replaced by Donald Trump, who would have been known as Donald Drumpf, had his grandfather not changed his name from Friedrich Drumpf to Frederick Trump.
I discussed a lot about the more humorous aspects of names, but have you considered how your name affects the way people view you? I’m sure you imagine that people will view you based on your credentials, your qualifications, and recommendations, especially when you apply for a job. However, this is sadly not the case.
A study done by the NBER finds that people with the same resume are 50% more likely to get a callback if they have a stereotypically white name like Greg than a stereotypically black name like Jamal. (Bertand and Mullianathan). This study found that black candidates with a low skilled resume had a 6% chance of getting a callback, while equally qualified candidates with white names had a 9% chance. However, once these resumes were improved, the gap only widened, with candidates having black names seeing their chances rise by only 0.1%. Those with white names, however, saw their chances rise by a full 2%, advantaging them further. This kind of discrimination does not stop in the U.S. A study done by the University of Toronto found that candidates with black names had a 10% chance of getting a callback, while those with white names had a 25% chance. And those with Asian names didn’t fare any better, with an 11.5% chance. (Banerjee et al.) A BBC test done in London found candidates with English names were offered three times as many interviews as those with Muslim names.
This makes your name one of the most important factors in whether or not you get a job. It’s not your credentials, not your qualifications, not those recommendations you had sent in. It’s your name.
While this kind of discrimination may happen anywhere, and at any time, and names may have once indicated our job, place of origin, or family, they don’t have to mean anything anymore. Those definitions are archaic and should be lost in time. We are all our own people, and names should not automatically categorize us. By making small, individual changes, to look past the name and our own biases, we can be the change in the world. It’s time for us all to step up, whether your name is Jamal, Alexander, or even Dick Assman. And while our use of names may not be perfect, it’s still better than being unnamed.
That was a great article! It was really funny, but also makes you think.