Have you ever questioned whether you truly loved your family or if it is simply a conditioned bond? When you heard someone talk badly about them, did you feel anger? Was it because it was someone you loved, or was it the association they had with you? Did you defend them because you think they will do the same for you?
Blood ties certainly give an innate sense of love and bond, especially from immediate family members, but how strong is that bond? Why is that bond strong enough to make us stay in for the abuse or downdragging for the rest of our lives?
Our upbringing with the notion that “family is the most important people in our lives and nobody will love us better” seems right, but the lines blur for many without a normal, sane, and stable family.
Let’s be honest. Many of us are in dysfunctional families; abuse isn’t as uncommon as we think. I am sure we all have witnessed or experienced some toxic situation with the “FAM.” Regardless of how blurred or clear the lines are, I disagree with the belief that “nobody will love us better.” While it may seem like a reliable outcome to stick it out with family, many people outside of the family can offer love, whether as a friend, partner, or perhaps just a listening ear.
To be clear, family is important, but only when they act like it—when they love you and show that they do. If they don’t, you may feel guilt wanting to cut them off, but if they bring you down, create conflict in your life, and have no desire to change, escape quicker than Houdini. Each of us deserves love and happiness.
- India